Seven Marriage Myths You Can't Afford to Ignore

Why should you be concerned if this is the case? Because what you aren't aware of can blindside you down the marital road, that's why. Life throws in enough surprises on its own, so you don't want to be caught off guard unnecessarily.

Review Your Assumptions for a Reality Check

The following misguided assumptions can get you into trouble in your marriage:

1. You should always feel loving toward your spouse.

It's not realistic to think that you'll always have loving feelings toward your spouse. There are occasions when Lee and I are upset with each other and we don't like each other very much.

We may have to make an effort to remind ourselves of the other person's positive traits. 

At those times, we know that underneath all of our upset feelings we still love each other, but the predominant feelings we're experiencing are anger and hurt. And it's difficult to feel loving when you're frustrated, feeling resentful, or harboring anger toward your spouse.

That's when it's vitally important to clear the air as soon as possible so you can be in harmony with your spouse and get those loving feelings back.

2. Love should consistently feel the same way.

Feelings vary in intensity over time. It's just not possible to experience forever the ecstatic feelings that can be there when a relationship is new and you've just fallen in love. At that time, every sensation is ultra intense and heightened.

But the feelings associated with the initial or honeymoon period of every relationship eventually change. Love deepens and grows in different ways.

Of course, there are still wonderful highs, but there are other feelings in the cycle of love that you also experience--a rhythmic waning and waxing of desire, the enjoyment of companionship, and the comfortableness of knowing someone well and sharing a history together. Love has many faces and produces a variety of feelings during a marriage.

3. Your spouse should just "know" what you need without you having to tell him or her.

It's not unusual to feel that if your spouse really loved you, he or she would somehow be aware of your needs and desires without having to ask you. But in reality, most of us do rather poorly when we try to second guess someone else or try to "read their mind."

This particular assumption leads to many hurt feelings in a marriage. "He should have known that I wouldn't want to celebrate my birthday with his family." Or "She should have known that all I wanted from her was a little understanding and sympathy."

When this happens, spouses often erroneously conclude that their spouse must not love them or they would have been more tuned in to their wishes and needs. But the responsibility to let your spouse know what you need and want ultimately rests on you. Give your partner feedback and clues so he or she can have the information needed to make different choices.

4. If you really love each other, keeping a loving relationship shouldn't take much work.

I've heard this or statements similar to this numerous times. But the sobering reality is that relationships always take a lot of work.

It's a challenge to keep the communication channels clear of debris and residue from disagreements. It takes time and effort to follow up by checking with the other person to be sure that things aren't building up under the surface and that everything is truly okay now.

This process can be compared to housecleaning. You can clean the house one week, but by the next week it needs cleaning again. It's a constant cycle--the same is true in a marriage relationship. What you ignore doesn't just go away; it stays right where it is, waiting for more dust or debris to collect on top of it.

5. Being married lets you off the hook in the romance department and sets you up in the sex department.

This assumption has tripped many spouses up. As a counselor, many times I've heard the statement, "But I thought now that we're married, I didn't have to do all of that romantic stuff I used to do."

Often this is said when the marriage problems are already serious and the marriage is in crisis. It just makes good sense to take the offensive and make the effort to find ways to be romantic throughout your marriage. If you do, you'll be accumulating those "good will" bank deposits or "brownie points" that Lee likes to talk about.

And as for thinking that marriage assures you of unlimited great sex without any extra effort on your part, that's a fantasy. Emotional intimacy sets the stage for great sex and depends on good communication, plus a host of other qualities such as sensitivity and empathy, all of which take work.

6. Your spouse will speak up and tell you if he or she is unhappy in the marriage.

This is an assumption which has been the undoing of many marriages. The reality is that numerous spouses are uncomfortable with anger and are afraid that expressing it will damage the relationship. So they try to bury their feelings and pretend that everything is okay.

It pays to be observant and pay attention to your spouse's tone of voice and non-verbal communication. It also pays to learn to disagree without attacking each other and to be respectful even when you don't understand how your spouse could possibly have such odd ideas.

When you create a safe environment for discussing your real feelings, you increase the likelihood that your spouse will gain the courage to share from the heart with you. You can help this process by taking the lead in making yourself vulnerable by sharing your real feelings in a respectful way.

7. The commitment expressed in your wedding vows is enough to sustain your relationship.

The commitment you made to your spouse and marriage on your wedding day was certainly important--and it counts for a lot. But it's not enough.

It's all-too-easy to treat the marriage commitment as a one-time thing, when the reality is that a satisfying, healthy relationship requires daily commitment--over and over again, day by day. It's similar to what individuals do who are successful in 12-step programs for sobriety--they recommit to their sobriety each day.

The recovering alcoholic may say, "Just for today, I'm sober, with God's help." The spouse with a successful marriage makes a daily commitment, also, even if it's unspoken--"Today I will honor my marriage and be the best supportive partner I can be." It's that level of daily dedication and commitment that makes the difference in marriages that make it and those that don't.

by Nancy J. Wasson, Ph.D.

Not Your Mother's Wedding Jewelry Anymore

Fading away is the all-white look of innocence! Fashion-conscious brides are now choosing to wear gowns in colors, are choosing rings in colors, or are adding accessory pieces in color to their special day. Engagement rings designed with stones other than clear diamonds started to grow in popularity with the magnificent sapphire ring worn by Princess Diana. Today, rings in yellow diamond, tanzanite, sapphire and emerald are rapidly becoming more and more in favor. 

This interest in color touched off by the engagement ring, is flowing over into the wedding jewelry worn during the ceremony. A necklace with colored stones matching the stone in the ring, can accent a bride's dress during the wedding, then becoming a wonderful part of her jewelry wardrobe after the ceremony. And for the less formal wedding, chunky colored beads, whether they are in the pink, green, or blue tones, can add a refreshing touch! 

In addition to the color trend in wedding wear, brides are choosing to accent their gowns with big, bold necklaces. The dainty little necklaces accented with pearls or crystals are losing out to necklaces that aren't just a nice little touch, but are focusing all attention onto the bride. Dramatic collars, clusters or long strands of large pearls or beads, asymmetrical looks, multi-strand drops and V-necks are all styles of necklaces that are letting the bride boldly express her individuality. Dresses for fall and spring are often strapless, or have very little neckline interest. Both of these features permit the bride to create her own interest using bold jewelry pieces, often in color. The jewelry, not the dress, is creating and demanding more and more attention.

While the main jewelry trend is big necklaces, there are other jewelry pieces that a bride can use to accent her wedding look as well. Chandelier earrings are back in a big way and the bigger the better! Metals, stones, crystals, and even colored beads are dangling from the ears of many a bride. With or without a complementary necklace, chandelier earrings are often big enough to give the bride the dazzle she desires. And don't forget about bracelets! Big bold cuffs in metal, multi-strands of beads, or single strands of large chunky beads have found their way onto the arm of brides who want to really make a fashion statement.

A great way to incorporate the old saying of needing 'something blue' in your wedding is to put the blue color in your jewelry. Blue stones or beads in the earrings or necklace, or even an anklet with blue stones can keep that bit of tradition alive. The 'something old' part of that saying can be preserved by enchantingly using a vintage pin as an accent on a wedding dress. Pinned near the waist or at the neckline, in either the front or back, a vintage pin can add just the needed touch to a retro-styled dress.

Brides of today have a medley of choices when choosing how they want to look on their wedding day. The frilly white dress adorned with pearls or beads, a dainty little necklace and earrings, and a multi-tier veil are no longer the paradigm of the perfect bride. Toss in some color, a very bold necklace, large chandelier earrings, or a large bracelet and you have a much truer picture of today's bride.

By Barbara Borchert

Can your Marriage Grow without Change?

"That's the way I am."

One should recognise when he needs to make changes in himself and his actions and then begin to take the necessary steps towards those change. All of us need to change because in life, there is no growth without it.

It's not always pleasant. History is full of mankind's struggle against change. But you can't make progress without it. At one time in my life, I found it hard to change. 

I liked doing things the way I had always done them. I was comfortable with the way I was. But from the time I came to know Jesus and began to expose myself to inspirational teaching, I found myself changing and it wasn't as difficult as I thought.

Several years ago in the mid-nineties, I heard Chris Oyakhilome say, 

"If you want to grow, be quick to change."

I took that to heart and began to practice this in my life because I wanted to grow, I wanted to improve. Do you? Do you want your marriage to grow and improve? Then you need to be ready to make changes. Some of them might be difficult, some might be easy, but the results will always be beneficial.

Remember what we said about people saying that they are creatures of habit? Well for those who want to be happy in marriage and ensure that they don't make life miserable for their spouses, they may need to start forming new habits or be ready to adjust to a new way of doing things because like it or not, marriage is a different situation from the single life. Add children to the mix, and it means that you need to make a whole lot more adjustments. Don't be too rigid. The way you are may have worked for you while you were by yourself, but now that you're with someone else, things have to be different.

Because I had learnt this at a younger age, I made some effort to adjust to my new situation as a wife. My family was surprised when from a few minutes after the "I dos" I started responding to my young husband as the one whom I should listen to. He was now my husband and so he was the one in charge. Not my parents or older relatives. I remember one of them remarking on my wedding day, "Are you already treating Chuka as the one in charge?" I replied, "He's my husband, isn't he?" And he was, even though we had just been married a few minutes before, I knew that the situation had changed and I had to adjust to it.

Some people can see that you're changing because you're married now and may resist it. They want you to be the same way you always were. They may even tell you beforehand, "I hope marriage won't change you." And you might unwisely remark, "Don't worry, it won't." Well it should. You're no longer single, but married. That's a change in itself.

You know how they say that you can't fit a round peg in a square hole, or vice-versa? Well you can't fit a single person into a marriage hole. So look out for your single or divorced friends who will try to manipulate you into staying the same. I had a friend who kept on telling me, "you've really changed, you've really changed." And I felt bad about it for a while because our very close relationship wasn't the way it was before and I knew that she wasn't happy about it. Then I had an epiphany. When she made the same remark again to me one day, I said, "Yes I have changed, I'm married." We are still close friends. But our relationship isn't exactly the way it was before because a new situation requires new responsibilities, new accountabilities, and new habits.

How does change start? It starts with the mind. There can be no permanent positive change in your marriage or life without a change or adjustment in the way you think or see things. Are you ready? Can you do it?

King Solomon says, "As a man thinks in heart so is he."

Why does it start with the mind? Because we are pulled in the direction of our thoughts. Our lives are a reflection of the way we think. Our thoughts are shaped by the environment we grew up in, the friends we have, the people we listen to (books and the media), and the things that we give attention to. So don't resist change, find resources that will help you make positive changes in the way you think. It will move your relationship forward in the right direction.

by Valentina Ibeachum

Make Weight Loss a reality with Diet Pills

One mesmerizing look and they would do any thing for me - beg, borrow, steal. All other women of my age were simply the competition. I detested them and they did likewise. We only collaborated if we had some mutual gain.

They detested me more when I won the prom queen award for three years in a row. I was never attracted to men, who were the rugged football types. I wanted men who smelled of big money. I consistently dated wealthy heirs. 

They provided what I craved for the most - The best clothes, the ideal homes and jewellery, the more upscale and the more famous the designer, the better. somehow managed to get through high school and used my wealthy contacts to get into a wealthy Swiss finishing school. My parents were assured by the school, that when I graduate out - I would be in great demand. I would be snapped up to the marital altar by the first eligible handsome millionaire. Was that a dream or perhaps ? Finishing school was a blur. They had a strict regimen for diet and exercise. Our every gesture was critically analysed to the point that even if I moved my head, that was frowned . We were supposed to breathe, walk, talk and even sleep in a particular way. Body odour was supposedly non-existent and all talk was meant for only one thing - for climbing the social ladder. I thought I would love it, but soon saw through it all. Life in this charmed circle was a fake. Everyone had their own little pert perversion and understandably so - the so called high life was extremely boring. 

But, the school lived up to it's promise. It had a clear role in providing the ageing wealthy men of Europe with beautiful brides. The school organized the official goodbye in the form of a coming of age "Ball". I was charmed when, we were told that it would be held in Vienna, Austria. So we traveled to Vienna. Personally I loved the city and even more so when I met Alexander von Scheller., charming , handsome aristocrat and most importantly an eligible bachelor, a scion of Viennese society.

I was simply swept off my feet as the Viennese Waltz commenced. Alexander was everything I wanted - handsome, stable, mature and most importantly wealthy. That summer was to be the greatest summer of my life. Alexander invited me to stay at his beautiful villa in the heart of old Vienna. Within 2 months to the strains of the music of Mozart, he proposed. I did not think, I accepted without a moment's delay. He was 48 and I was 18. innocent, naïve and foolishly romantic. Our wedding would be the talk of town.

Married life was initially satisfying then it settled into a kind of monotonous humdrum. Life was shopping , cooking and cleaning and lots of gardening. I was soon as good as a professional gardener. Alexander was constantly away at work. He supposedly had a lot of business interests, I realized the truth only when the first pregnant business interest found her way to our house. He had a long line of girlfriends. That's when I realized that men true to character are completely polygamous. I soon lost my naivety and quickly can back to reality... and reality really bites. I packed all my things and took the first flight to London. As I wept through the flight, and could not stop even as my parents and friends consoled me. That is when I began to bloat. I was miserable throughout - I simply ate and ate and cried. It never occurred to me that I needed treatment for this depression. The months simply flew past and it was soon one year after my flight back. Alexander had not even called to check on me. I had expected him to call, woo me back with all kinds of promises, but he did not seem to care. When I saw him on the tabloid pages of "Sun", a young starling on the arm, that I realized what a waist my anguish was.

So, I picked up the meaty pieces of my body and decided to move on . I had gained 30 kg in just one year. I just somehow managed to get myself a job and decided that I would stand on my own two feet. With three months salary, enough downpayment for renting a small apartment, I moved out to live on my own. And, that's when the Godzilla episode happened. I wowed to teach these brats a lesson - I would lose weight and lose it fast and then they would only "gawk". So I began to diet. I decide to stick to a systematic diet regimen that gave me all the vital nutrients and yet at the same time ensured that I stuck to my weight target. My target was simple.I was going to go in for a weight loss of 1 kg per month. Easier said than done. I managed to lose 1 kg in the first month. I lost ½ kg in the second month . That when I decided to add a strong dose of aerobics to my weight loss plan. I went in for an hour of aerobics in the evening. That ensured that I lost 2 kg in the next month. But all this aerobics made me very hungry, I soon began to falter on my diet regimen.

That's when a friend suggested that I try diet pills. I had heard a lot about the so called side-effects of diet pills and was very wary of consuming them without medical supervision. That when I came across an article on safe prescription diet pills. The article ignited my mind and I decide to consult an appropriate dietician who prescribed safe diet pills for me. These pills were truly the best diet pills in the world. There were hardly any side-effects and I rarely felt hungry. I soon lost weight more rapidly and today after 2 years , I have lost 20 kg and gained a lot in terms of health and self-esteem. Today I get propositioned every second day by handsome men who think I look good. I still feel that I have a long way to go before I get back to my old "sexy" self, but life has changed beyond measure. Diet pills have made weight loss a reality for me. They can also do the same for you. Add them to your weight loss regimen today.

by Rosy Parker

Wedding Thank You Cards

Wedding thank you cards express thanks to the guests who made the occasion an auspicious and memorable one. It is a way of expressing gratitude and sincere wishes to the friends and relatives for attending the wedding as well as for their thoughtful wishes and gifts.

Generally, the cards are smaller in size and are available as pre-printed or blank inside. On the blank ones, the couple can write or print a note of thanks in the blank space. 

Some people send handmade cards in order to add a personal touch to the thank you being sent. People even send thank you cards with the wedding photo attached to very special persons who might want a copy of it.

Usually, wedding thank you cards are sent within a period of three months after the marriage. Electronic wedding thank you cards are very much in vogue today. These cards save the labor of card hunting in retail outlets, mailing the cards, and all the related hassles. Moreover, speedy delivery is guaranteed. However, as some may strongly feel, electronic cards cannot give that feeling of warmth and proximity assured by printed cards.

Wedding thank you cards are one of the most appropriate ways to convey thanks to all those who attended the function including host and hostesses of bridal shower, engagement party, and rehearsal dinner. There are a number of wedding shops that sell these cards, but they can also be ordered online.

By Eric Morris

Unique Wedding Gifts

If the couple you are buying for have purchased a home hire an interior decorator to come in and give suggestions or redo a room. Or put together a unique “new home” gift basket with tools, “how-to-do-it” books, wine, cheese and crackers for the newlyweds who probably need all the “home advice” they can get.

If you know the couple’s creative preferences, buy a piece of art that they can display in their home. 

A special painting, unique vase or rare antique piece will hold a special meaning for the bride and groom. You could also make your own piece of are buy making a collage of photographs of the couple, family and friends.

If the couple enjoys the outdoors give them a gift certificate for a hiking or whitewater rafting getaway weekend. That would be quite a unique surprise for them. If they’re just plain, old-fashion romantic send them on a weekend adventure to a beach or ski resort. Plan the trip for several months after the wedding. The newness will be wearing off, and they will need and appreciate the break.

By Richard Romando

Unique Gift Ideas

If you’re buying for a fitness fanatic, a gym or spa membership gift certificate will surely be well received. If you’re on a budget, get your loved one a “free-trial membership,"" with a one-day personal trainer. A day at the spa with a body massage and facial included is always nice for your female friends.

Monthly club subscriptions are generous gifts and depending on your friend’s interest you can enroll them in a 12-month program for books, flowers, coffees, fruits, etc.

Prepaid long-distance calling cards are great for kids in college or parents who are miles away. Prepaid Internet cards are appreciated by anyone who is about to purchase a computer. The card will allow them to explore the Internet and other features like email, chat, games, etc. 

Gift baskets can be as unique as you want it to be. Most gift basket shops will custom make any basket you request, or you can purchase separate items and create your own basket.

If money is no object, resort accommodations for a weekend getaway for two as a unique gift idea will never be forgotten. Or, if the gift is meant to be extra special, travel and tour packages can be found at any travel agency or online.

Unique Gifts provides detailed information on Unique Gifts, Unique Gift Ideas, Unique Baby Gifts, Unique Wedding Gifts and more. Unique Gifts is affiliated with Unique Gifts Online.

By Richard Romando

Wedding Insurance - A Form of Protection

Your big day is a day of happiness and both of you have waited eagerly for this day. You certainly do not want to get any mishaps along the way to dampen the mood. But if there are unforeseen contingencies, how well are you shielded from them?

If you are opting for a destination wedding at a beach, you might be wary of what could be sudden adverse weather changes which might be an impediment to the conduct of your wedding.

Wedding insurance typically covers postponement or rescheduling of the wedding against adverse weather, no show of wedding vendors, no show of key personnel, damage to precious wedding photos and loss of special items such as jewelry or documents. 

The premium is a one time fee and varies according to the depth of coverage needed.

Do note the fine prints on the limitations and exclusions of the policy. Make sure that you are well aware of the things that you might not be able to claim.

What are the things that might go wrong and might be covered under the policy?

- Cancellation or postponement of wedding due to bereavement or illness of the immediate family.

- Loss of wedding jewelry.

- No show of wedding vendors.

- Damage to the wedding photographs.

Being well prepared for the event is good and you could find yourself feeling a lot less frustrated when things do go wrong.

Of course there is something that cannot be covered under the wedding insurance policy, which is, the emotional disappointment.

by Anne Lim

Wedding Ceremony Songs

There are various ways to go about choosing songs for the wedding ceremony. You can choose classical, traditional, or contemporary music, depending on your mood. Most couples these days choose songs that are meaningful to them together. A good idea to keep in mind while selecting wedding ceremony songs is to think about the audience.

Selecting a song that everyone knows allows the crowd gathered to bless the couple and join in with the songs, thus creating a different ambience altogether.

Some popular choices for music during the wedding ceremony are traditional classical pieces like “The Wedding March”. Musical ensembles like string quarters and even chamber music groups are also popular for weddings. 

It is increasingly common for couples to choose contemporary songs that hold a special significance to them, but traditional wedding ceremony tunes are still among the most popular: Wagner’s Bridal Chorus, Mendelssohn’s Wedding March, Widor’s Toccata, Bach’s ‘Jesu, Joy of Man’s Desiring’ etc.

It is important to begin making arrangements to hire musicians as soon as the wedding date and location are confirmed. Often popular musicians are booked as much as a year in advance. About a month before the wedding date, you should meet the musicians and confirm all the details. Often a place of worship will have guidelines about the kind of music that is allowed to be played and it is important to ask.

By Eric Morris

Photographing Your Wedding Formals

This is where having a gameplan will be of great benefit. It has been my experience that a "formals" session will typically last anywhere between forty minutes and one hour. Clock-watching becomes a necessity because everyone involved in your wedding day has a job to do, and running late is never a good idea. Your function director will generally have a pretty tight timeline regarding seating your guests and getting dinner on the table. Timely completion of your formal photography session may prevent the burning of 250 plates of Chicken Cordon Bleu, and there's nothing worse than dry, overdone chicken! 

I like to start a photography session with the largest groups first. If you have a sizable wedding party they'll appreciate the fact that you've completed their photographs and now they can go enjoy a cocktail and some hor's doerves. Next I like to photograph the bride's family and the groom's, followed by any aunts, uncles, cousins and special requests. Finally, I can concentrate on the Bride and Groom and give them the attention they deserve without worrying about the "next" shot we'll need to take. At this point everyone is ready to be introduced into the reception hall, with nothing but free-flowing candid coverage for the remainder of the day.

If formal photographs are important to you, (and why wouldn't they be) I strongly suggest that you create a list of the formal groupings that you wouldn't want to miss. On such a busy and exciting day you're likely to forget a grouping or two, and you certainly can't hold your photographer responsible for missing a family photo if you never told him to take it! My photography assistant plays the role of "second-string quarterback", holding the clipboard containing the shot list and checking them off as we go. Another tip is to let those folks who you'd like involved in photographs know in advance that they'll be needed. Remember, you may have less than one hour to get this done. You don't have time to track people down and get them to the photography area.

Another possibility which works for some couples is to complete the formal photographs prior to the ceremony. I know some of you are cringing at the thought of breaking with tradition, but if you analyze the advantages you may find that this is an option worth considering. Obviously, a pre-ceremony photo session isn't possible in all cases, but works particularly well when the ceremony and reception are taking place at the same venue. I'll simply have the key parties arrive about one and a half hours prior to the start of the ceremony and then go through the groupings in much the same way as described above. The advantages here are obvious: Time restrictions have been eliminated, cocktail hour can now be enjoyed by everyone, including the bride and groom and best of all, no burnt chicken!

by Andy Heller

9 Ways To Cope With Wedding Speech Nerves

1. Remember these people are on your side. They aren't secretly hoping you'll mess things up. The reason you're there giving a speech is because you are connected with the people there, and so are the audience. Bearing this in mind, you can rest assured that anything you say in your wedding speech will be listened to and respected fully.

Also, people listening to speeches at weddings are wanting to laugh as this breaks the tension. So any vague attempt of a joke will get you a response. 

2. Practice your wedding speech thoroughly. The more your practice, the less nervous you'll feel on the actual day.

Remember to practice the intonation of your voice and the pauses. By showing you've put effort into your preparation, any mistakes you may make on the day will be easily forgiven.

3. Learn your speech by heart. Whenever you have some spare time, in the car on the way to work, in the shower or wherever...practice your speech. Repeat it over and over again as many times as you can before the big day. You will feel much calmer on the big day as you'll know the whole speech inside out.

4. Remember to breathe. As simple as this sounds, it is often overlooked. Practice where you'll take a breath in the speech, and learn to breathe correctly. Diaphragmatic breathing, as used by singers and public speakers, will help you here. If you're unfamiliar with this, a quick search on Google will show you.

5. Think of a funny story before you stand up. Nothing so funny that you loose you focus, but something mildly titillating that will bring a smile to your face. This will loosen you up, and give a nice energy to your wedding speech that will improve the delivery immensely.

6. Have a banana 20 minutes before you make your speech. This tip is often used by professional public speakers, and helps the nerves of many people. It also gives a nice energy boost which helps reduce your nerves.

7. Speak slowly and clearly. If you are nervous, you will feel the urge to speed up and your speech will become unclear. So try to consciously slow yourself down and speak clear so people can hear what you say.

8. Make eye contact with people in the audience so it feels like your just chatting with everyone who is there.

9. Lastly, remember to simply enjoy yourself! Your life isn't going to end if you make a few mistakes...and it will be over in just a few minutes. Have fun! 

by Carol Howard

Wedding Speeches: A Quick Outline

If you are one of the ones expected or asked to do a wedding speech, then preparing is a must. Winging it just won't cut it especially when your wedding speech will be on video from now until eternity.

Wedding speeches should not last more than three or four minutes. It reminds me of that famous quote by John F. Kennedy,

"Public speaking is the art of diluting a two-minute idea with a two-hour vocabulary." 

It's actually much harder to do a short wedding speech than a long one which reminds me of another quote,

"It usually takes me more than three weeks to prepare a good impromptu speech." --Mark TwainYou

You have to have an opening and closing. You probably want to throw in a story and at least one piece of humor. And it all has to make sense. Please, please, please don't apologize for how bad you are as soon as you stand up, which reminds me of yet another quote by Kin Hubbard,

"Why doesn't the fellow who says, "I'm no speechmaker," let it go at that instead of giving a demonstration?" hahaha I love that one.

Here's a quick outline for a wedding speech: Note: each one of the bullet points below could have many variations

· Opening - Could be comments about the lovely affair · Comments about the bride and groom · Story about your interactions with the bride, groom or both. · Humor- Pick something that applies to them and is appropriate · Closing - Something touching · Toast - Brief and touching or funny

You'll rarely be the hit of a wedding because of your wedding speech and rightfully so. The bride and groom are the stars. But poor preparation of your wedding speech certainly could make you the laughing stock.

Remember, you are going to perform your wedding speech live, but you'll be on video forever. Take the time to prepare. 

by Tom Antion

How to Pick Perfect Flowers According to Occasions

Valentine's flowers are about love and passion if you pick roses. Consider a sunflower for the person in your life. The meaning of this Valentine's Day flower is admiration. Your special someone will feel adored by you all day long. How about a For-get-me not? This flower means true love. You could not say it any better. A tulip given on Valentine's Day has a meaning of the perfect lover. Now that is a desired compliment.

The meaning of mother's day flowers is said best with pink carnations as these flowers say, "I will never forget you" and they represent a mother's love. 

While carnations are a popular choice for mom on her special day, they are not the only choice. Think about your mom and what she likes. The meaning of mother's day flowers is to show mom that you took time out of your day to think about her so choose flower arrangements that suit her best. 

Christmas flower gifts have special meanings for Christmas celebration. In a story about the birth of Jesus Christ, it was flowers from two little poor children that outshone all the gifts that three wise men had brought for Him.

Birthday flowers are chosen according to different months of the year, much like birthstones. January is the snowdrop and carnation; February the primrose and violet; March the violet and jonquil; April flowers are the daisy and sweet pea; May represents lily of the valley and hawthorn; June is the rose and honeysuckle; July the water lily and larkspur; August represents the gladiolus and poppy; September the Morning Glory and Aster; October the Marigold; November, chrysanthemum; and December birthday's the Poinsettia and Holly. Remember, the monthly guide to flowers provides a basis for picking out flowers for a man or a woman, but other flowers are appropriate as well depending on whether you are buying them for a family member or the love of your life.

Wedding flowers should be chosen according to the bride and groom preferences, color of the bride and bridesmaids' dresses, church and reception places, and sticking to the decoration theme, if any. Another point to consider is the season because most floral varieties are easily found year-round, but seasonal flowers are cheaper and easier to find. Fresh flowers are the most viable option when it comes to planning the wedding day, but a few brides prefer dried flowers or artificial ones made of silk.

The Internet opened a new and convenient way for people to send flowers. Valentine's Day 2002, Carole was in Cornwall, UK and her boyfriend Vic was in Guildford, UK. Vic decided to head to the internet. Typing in flower delivery Cornwall, then florists in Guildford, Vic found the perfect Valentine's flowers for Carole. The flowers can be ordered online from Guildford, UK and sent to Cornwall, UK and would arrive early next morning. They enjoyed the experience of florists in Devon for flower delivery as well. 

by Natalie Aranda

Don't Know What Wedding Flowers To Choose? Here Are Some Tips

The universal flower for weddings is most definitely the rose. White or red are the most common. It was proclaimed by Venus, the Roman goddess of love, that the red rose was the most beautiful of all flowers. So it came to be that the red rose represented true love.

When you are choosing the flowers for your wedding there are several things to take into account. 

1) First of all, it is your wedding and should emulate your personality and be the theme for the ceremony and reception. It shouldn't be what your mother always wanted or your bridesmaid's favorite flowers. It's about what you want.

2) Look at a lot of photographs of wedding flowers and bouquets. You need to get familiar with flowers, styles and colors. The internet is an awesome tool for that. It used to be that you'd have to go to a florist to do this and you may still want to but fortunately there are a lot more options. 

3) As you browse through the pages, start with style first. Do you like the bouquets that are long with ivy and ribbons, maybe compact and round, exotic, possibly long flowers that you carry on your arm almost like carrying a baby? The reason I suggest style first is because certain flowers are suited to each style.

4) Remember, large bouquets can be very heavy and if you have a small frame then you may want to reconsider a large bouquet. I have done bridal bouquets that have weighed as much as 30 to 40 pounds.

5) Once you have decided on a style then it can be determined what flowers and colors you would like. Sometimes you get lucky and see a bouquet and that is exactly the one you want. But don't be afraid to get creative. I once did a wedding where the bride (who married on Valentines Day) chose a round red bouquet for herself and the bridesmaid's wore white and red dresses so we made half the bouquet red and the other half white roses. At the reception the bouquets were then placed in red vases and served as flowers for the head table. It was very effective. You can be as creative as you want.

6) You can also choose flowers for their meanings. Here are some of the more common flowers used in weddings:

Red rose - True love White rose - innocence and purity, I am worthy of you. White carnation - fascination, love of a woman White lily - purity, heavenly Cala lily - beauty Red tulips - declaration of love Babies breath - pure of heart Blue violet - faithfulness Hyacinth - loveliness Iris- warmth and affection Daisy - innocence Ivy - eternal love and fidelity

7) If you want fragrant flowers then I would go with white casa blanca or star- gazer lilies, hyacinth, tuber roses, and gardenias. The fragrance would be heavenly.

8) If you are on a severe budget then you may want to consider doing simple bouquets on your own. It is not that difficult to do. Example; take a dozen or more tulips and stagger them slightly so that the heads are not all together. Take the first tulip in your hand, place the next one so that the tulip head is now about 2 or 3 inches lower and so on. Take the ribbon of your choice and tie them together. Make a simple bow and there you have it. You can also do this style effectively with calla lilies, gladiolas and blue delphinium. If you want to save a lot of money then this can be an alternative for you.

Regardless of the size and budget of your wedding, just remember, this is your day. Do it the way you want to and have fun doing it. 

by Willie Jones

Artificial Flowering Bushes

There are a number of varieties of rose bushes, from tree roses to miniature types. Typical long stemmed roses can be bought for approximately $20 and are perfect as centerpieces. Miniature artificial flowering bushes are ideal for the office as they can fit almost anywhere and they add a touch of elegance. Miniature varieties are most common in peach, pink and white and can cost from $10 upwards.

Roses exhibit one of the most versatile ranges of color among any flowering bush. 

While the most well known color is red, they also come in shades of pink, yellow, orange, cream, and white.

In high demand at the moment are the lavender, blue, green and purple artificial flowering bushes which can retail for as much as $15. Individual flowers can be bought for around $2 each. 

Daisies are also very popular as artificial flowering bushes and have the typical appearance of star-spread petals around a central yellow area. The top selling variety at the moment is the Gerber Daisy, which comes in a range of striking colors including rust orange, royal purple, tiffany blue and royal pink. These tend to be delicate flowers in nature so artificial daisies are a wonderful alternative. Bushes are typically sold at a very affordable price range.

Geraniums are prized for their rich colors. These artificial flowering bushes are normally available in red, dark red and pink, but specialty colors can be sourced. The leaves are a dark green with epically placed flowers. They are not normally sold as individual specimens but rather as bushes. Gardenias owe their popularity to their widespread usage in wedding bouquets. They are known for their crisp white color although they can be blushed so that they display tinges of other colors, most notably pink. Blushed Gardenias are a bit more expensive than the plain white bushes, retailing for around $10 each. In contrast, the white Gardenia can be bought for less than $10. There has been a recent trend towards using Gardenias in garlands. These artificial flowering bushes are quite affordable as a 72 inch garland. The major allure of artificial flowering bushes is the fact that the color does not fade as in natural flowers. Blooms are long lasting; they do not age and drop off the stems. Artificial flowering bushes are maintenance free so the reward can be gained without the associated work. They are also devoid of seeds and pollen so there is no possibility of aggravating existing allergies and they have no need for sunlight, so they can be moved around freely. 

by Robin Storms